Meridian
by Ally823
Summary: AU: What if it had happened to Sam? Not a Sam whumper! Major spoilers for 'Meridian', 'Full Circle', and the 'Fallen' duo.
1. Meridian Pt 1

**Title:** _Meridian_

**Summary:** _AU: What if it had happened to Sam? Most likely an S/D friendship_

**Spoilers:** _Meridian, (minor) Crystal Skull, (blink and you'll miss it) In the Line of Duty, Maternal Instinct, a sixth season episode (I'll let you know), and obviously Fallen and Homecoming_

**Disclaimer:** _I. Own. Nada. Not even lil Doctor Fisher; he's real...sort of;_ Mr. _Fisher is my_ very_ annoying teacher._

**This was just something I could more or less write. I'll probably just do alternate versions to "Meridian", "Fallen", and "Homecoming". And no, it's not like my complete failure that is also based on those three episodes.**

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

General Hammond knew something was wrong the moment the Stargate began to spin. He further felt dread when he found out that it was SG-1 returning home early. If there was one thing he had learned in the five years he had headed this project, it was that whenever a team--namely SG-1--returned early, something had happened and trouble would usually follow.

"Open the iris," he ordered to the sergeant at the controls. The sergeant nodded and immediately complied.

Major Samantha Carter came through first, followed by Doctor Daniel Jackson, and then Colonel Jack O'Neill and Teal'c. Sam was holding her hands up as if she had something on them that she was trying not to get anyone else with. One hand had a bandage on it. Daniel looked like he was trying to maintain a distance of at least four feet while still staying close; and Jack and Teal'c hung back awkwardly as if they couldn't comprehend something.

"We need to get her to the infirmary!" Daniel shouted. "She's been exposed to radiation!"

Hammond's heart froze as his fear was confirmed. Hopefully this was another situation SG-1 would pull through, like when they were exposed to radiation after coming in to contact with the crystal skull the first time.

"Have a medical team, meet us on the way," he said to the sergeant as he went to meet the team.

He heard the sergeant calling the medical team as he descended the stairs only to find Sam and Daniel hurrying past.

Speeding up to even out with Jack and Teal'c, he asked, "Colonel, what happened?"

"Eh, the details are a little sketchy, sir," Jack replied, his voice shaky.

Hammond heard a shout from ahead of them and saw Sam jump away from two technitians and into the wall. "Don't touch me!" she said, her voice harsh from apparent fear. "I may still be radioactive."

Janet rounded the corner. "Let's get her scrubbed down," she ordered and the technitians followed Sam as she, Daniel, and Janet disappeared around the corner.

When General Hammond and the second half of SG-1 followed, they saw Janet and Daniel waiting at a door.

"Do any of you know what kind and how much?" Janet demanded.

The remaining members of SG-1 shook their heads.

"Damn," she muttered angrily. "Is there a chance Sam would know?" Not waiting for an answer, she went into the room. The other four followed. They caught Janet asking Sam the same question she had just asked them.

"Uh," said Sam around the technitians, who were "scrubbing her down". "There was a device housing an unstable radioactive variation of--" She winced as she was given a shot. "Of naquadah. If I'm right, my right hand was exposed to the equivalent of over eight to nine grays of neutron radiation resulting from direct contact." She paused as if unsure she should go on. "Full body expose of over seven."

Janet's eyes widened. "Oh my god," she whispered.

Hammond glanced at Janet. "Doctor?"

Pure terror flashed through Sam's eyes and she looked like she was trying to hold back tears. "It's a lethal dose, sir," she said.

"Doctor Fraiser," said Hammond. Janet looked at him intently. "Do what you can for Major Carter. SG-1 and I will meet for an emergency briefing."

"Yes, sir," she replied and began issuing orders to her subordinates.

Hammond turned and saw the helplessness on the guys' faces. "Come on. There's nothing more you can do for her. Wash up and get in the briefing room."

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

A half an hour later, General Hammond wasn't surprised to find himself the last person to enter the briefing room.

"As you were," he said out of habit, even though the others were to preoccupied to think about standing. "Doctor Fraiser tells me there's nothing more we can do for Major Carter at the moment. In the meantime, I want to know what happened."

Jack gestured to Daniel, who glared at Jack in response.

Jack ignored him and Daniel began. "Well, sir, as you know from the initial reports, Kelowna is one of three major countries on 4C3. What we've learned since then is that they appear to be in a similar stage of development to that of the U.S. in the 1940's. Geopolitically, there is an obvious amount of growing tension between the nations."

"Sort of like a cold war. Sir," Jack put in.

Daniel shot him another glare and continued. "Their Stargate was discovered approximately fifteen years ago, unearthing it along with a number of Goa'uld artifacts in what I suspect to be an ancient temple."

"Their knowledge of the gate is still limited," Teal'c added.

"But they are extremely interested. When we told them what we could offer, they were quite eager to share any technology that could potentially offered in exchange."

Daniel explained what happened after SG-1 exited the wormhole:

_---------------------------------------_

_SG-1 walked through a door and was met by a young man in maroon and white robes._

_The man smiled widely. "This is incredible. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm Jonas Quinn, special advisor to our High Minister."_

_"Security's a little tight in here, I noticed," said Jack, gesturing to a couple of nearby guards._

_Mood undiminished, Jonas replied, "As you have undoubtedly been told, this is one of our most secret and important research operations._

_He looked curiously at Teal'c and pointed to his own forehead then pointed to Teal'c's. Daniel quickly held out his hand. He had wondered how these people would react to Teal'c; Teal'c was, after all...different._

_"Daniel Jackson," he introduced himself. Jonas took his hand and shook it._

_Jack stepped forward. "Colonel Jack O'Neill." He motioned to Sam and Teal'c. "Major Sam Carter"--Sam smiled and nodded in acknowledgement--"and the tall, silent one is Teal'c." Teal'c dipped his head._

_Jonas grinned widely again. "Teal'c," he repeated. "Well, your arrival on our planet is an extrordinary event. It's my honor to show you around this facility. Please, follow me."_

_---------------------------------------_

"He's an, uh, advisor to the high minister," explained Daniel.

"Their equivalent to our president," said Jack.

Daniel wished Jack would stop interrupting. It was grinding his nerves more than usual.

Seeing it was his turn to start speaking, he gave a quick cough. "Uh, as we understand it, Jonas was responsible for overseeing the research from an...ethical prespective."

"Yeah, whatever," muttered Jack.

They all glanced at him, but Daniel didn't mind this interruption so much.

"He," continued Daniel, "has several degrees from their most honored educational institution. Social studies, ancient Kelownan history--"

"He was a nerd, sir," said Jack. "He and Daniel got along great." Daniel glared at him and finished his report.

_---------------------------------------_

_Jonas led them into anotther room._

_"If we could have access to the site where the gate was found and see the artifacts, we have this process called carbon dating," Daniel was saying. "If I could determine the age of the temple, maybe even figure out how it was destroyed..."_

_Jonas glanced back at him. "I'm sure that can be arranged. Our archaeologists believe they've only begun to uncover the full extent of what may be buried. There were extensive alien writings."_

_"Teal'c and I could help with the translation," Daniel offered. He was actually quite eager to find out what the writings said. They might have some useful information about an alien race SG-1 didn't know much about, like the Ancients, or even something useful against the Goa'uld._

_"Daniel?" asked Jack. Daniel knew he probably should have checked with Jack first._

_Jonas saved him from having to speak. "I understand from our leaders that your knowledge and expertise comes at a price, colonel. That is why you're here, right?"_

_"Well don't get me wrong," said Jack, "we want to help out as much as we can, it's just that we've been burned a little bit in the past."_

_Daniel picked up the train of thought: "We're not questioning so much what you have in return."_

_Sam followed suit, too, for which Daniel was somewhat grateful. "We just want to get to know you better first."_

_"That's it." Jack flashed his oh-so-innocent smile._

_Daniel saw that Jonas wasn't amused._

_"Still," Jonas said, "hopefully we'll have much of value to offer in exchange." He gestured down a different hall. "This way."_

_They walked into an observation room overlooking a lab where several men in Kelownan haz-mat suits were working. Daniel saw a light switch from red to blue. He figured that meant it was safe to enter._

_It was._

_"We can go in now," said Jonas._

_They entered and Jonas walked over to one of the men taking his helmet off. "This is Tomis Leed. He is the chief physicist overseeing the development of our most critical project. Tomis, this is SG-1, of the planet Earth."_

_Tomis smiled slightly. "My pleasure."_

_Sam noticed the device Tomis was standing next to. "What is this?"_

_Tomis replied, "The core of this device was uncovered in an ancient temple of a race of people we believe were called the Guld." He mulled over the new word._

_"Goa'uld," Teal'c corrected._

_Jonas quickly glanced at him in interest. "Really?"_

_"It's a mineral substance found to have highly unstable radioactive properties. This experiment seems to indicate the potential for great bursts of energy," said Tomis._

_"Our translation of the writings in the temple indicate that the alien element is called 'naquadria'," continued Jonas._

_Daniel, thinking they had merely mispronounced another word, said, "Naquadah."_

_Jonas and Tomis exchanged a glance. "No," said Jonas, "we also translated that word in that same text. This is definitely naquadria."_

_Sam looked interested. Very interested. "So this is some sort of power generating device?" she asked._

_"Not exactly," answered Jonas uneasily._

_She and Daniel exchanged a quick, worried glance._

_---------------------------------------_

"They were making a bomb, sir," Jack interrupted again, much to Daniel's annoyance.

Daniel picked up again. "They were far from actually achieving a deliverable weapon, but if they were successful, it would probably have been as powerful as a naquadah-enhanced weapon."

"The Kelownans claimed they were under the threat of oppression from their neighboring nations and the weapon would only be used to ensure freedom," Teal'c added.

"Sounds like a situation we would have to be very careful about getting involved in," observed Hammond.

"Oh, I'm not sure we need to worry about that anymore, General," said Jack. He gave Hammond a false smile.

Hammond looked slightly worried. "How so?"

"I don't think they want our help any longer," Jack replied simply.

Hammond didn't look very impressed, in Daniel's opinion. "Something to do with how Major Carter was exposed to so much radiation?"

"Wh-we were touring the city," said Daniel. "Sam was at the research facility with Jonas. She was trying to help me convince him that building a bomb wasn't going to be the answer to their problems."

"Still, we don't know," said Jack.

"Colonel, what _do_ you know?" Hammond asked impatiently.

Jack shot a glance at Daniel.

"They're claiming Sam tried to sabotage their experiment," answered Daniel, looking down at his folded hands and up again.

"They're lying, General," Jack said adamantly.

"I also do not believe this to be true," Teal'c said firmly.

"They let us bring her home on compassionate grounds," stated Daniel, forcefully controlling his anger.

"The fact is, they just didn't want us around anymore," said Jack.

"But they are demanding she be brought back to face the charges," he paused, not wanting to finish the sentence but having to anyway. "If she survives."

"What does Major Carter say happened?" Hammond asked.

"She didn't," answered Jack. "Understandably, she was quite pressed to return home. I suggest, sir, that you talk to her if you want an answer."

"How 'bout you talk to Major Carter and find out her side of the story," Hammond suggested, subtly hiding an order.

Jack sighed, taking the hint and headed down to the infirmary while the rest of SG-1 dispersed.

Sam was lying on the bed in Observation Room 7.

"So what's up?" Jack asked, figuring he knew the answer.

She glanced over at him. He wanted to wince at the depair in her eyes but didn't want her to see him affected by her condition.

"Nothing," she answered. "Just thinking."

"How ya doin'?" Jack intoned, knowing the answer to this question as well.

Sam sat up and faced him. She had changed into the sterile, white infirmary clothes. "Well, I would be better if I didn't know what was going to happen." At his questioning glance, she continued with a sigh. "My first symptom will be nausea. The nausea will be followed by tremors, convulsions, and ataxia. My surface tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade, something called necrosis. Now, based on the dose of radiation I got, that will happen in the next ten to fifteen hours. And, if I don't drown in my own blood and body fluids first, I will bleed to death, and there is no medical treatment for that." She could easily see that the idea any of that would happen disturbed him.

"Maybe not that we know of," Jack said lamely.

Sam smiled without any glimer of happiness behind it. "Sir, we both know that's not true. Janet's one of the best. If she can't find a solution, no one can."

She noted the gears in his head switching. "What happened?" he finally asked.

Sam looked down at the floor. She really didn't want to go through this again. "It doesn't matter," she murmured.

"Yes it does. You didn't try to sabotage anything." Jack said so fiercely, Sam looked back up.

She sighed. "There was an accident. I guess the scientists thought the government would blame me and thought I was the perfect excuse."

"And you're okay with this?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, sir. But It's not like there's much we can do about it now anyway."

"Yes there is," he argued.

Sam looked away, trying to somehow avoid the hopelessness of the problem. "If they really want to blame me, then denying it won't change a thing. According to Daniel, ten thousand years ago, the Goa'uld tried the exact same experiments at they're trying and nearly blew up the entire planet in the process. Daniel and I tried to tell them that and they wouldn't listen. They're going to build that bomb and nothing we say can stop them."

"Carter--"

"Sir," Sam said gently, her eyes pleading him to drop the subject.

"Okay, okay," Jack said, backing off. "I'll go talk to General Hammond."

"For what?" Sam called as he left.

"Your medical treatment," he called back over his shoulder.

Sam sighed and layed back down on her bed. She was dying. There was nothing left for her or the rest of SG-1 to do. She didn't understand why Colonel O'Neill was so insistent on saving her. Even she had admitted to herself by now that she would die. There was no other way to look at her situation.

Tears came unbidden to her eyes at the hopelessness. She curled up into a fetal position, turned away from the door.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Jack headed to the science department, something he never thought he'd willingly do.

The general had pretty much shot down all of Jack's ideas on how to save Carter, so he was going to check and see if any of Carter's people had found anything of value.

The only person in Carter's office was a tall, thin man who, if Jack remembered right, was called Doctor Fisher.

"Hey, doc," Jack greeted.

"Who--Wha? Oh, hi, uh, uh, Colonel O'Neill. I was just uh, checkin' some of, uh, Major Carter's research and comments on the, uh, na-naquadria," said Fisher with a grin.

Jack swallowed his apprehension. Carter's life was in the not-so-capable hands of _this_ moron? God, the man was so annoying. "Got anything?" he asked.

"Uh. well, I, uh, I've been doing some calculations," Fisher answered, looking down at his papers.

"Anything to help Carter?" Jack tried again.

"Uh, well...no. Based on the amount, amount of radiation the, uh...Kelownans say Major Carter was exposed to, I've estimated the, the uh, amount of energy that would of been generated by the experiment." He paused and stared off into space, apparently either thinking or zoned out.

"And?" Jack prodded.

"Oh, uh, the po-potential's ast-astronomical. Even a little, tiny amount of the element they're working with emitted a pulse of, uh, energy far, far greater than anything I ever thought possible. Golly, it's much more than the weapon's grade naquadah would have. It'd require a massive nuclear reaction to even approach this level."

Jack, who had started to zone out, caught Fisher's pause. "So?" he asked.

"Uh, well, uh, this could be the missing link in terms of generating the kind of energy _I_ believe is necessary to create a, uh, a yperspace window. _Or,_ to generate and sustain the kind of shield the Goa'uld have been using to protect their ships. We have to get some of this stuff."

Jack decided he'd better leave before he fell asleep. The man was worse than Carter and Daniel put together could ever have been!

As he walked away, he could have sworn he heard Fisher muttering "Good stuff" but didn't think any more on the subject.

_----------------------------------------------_

Daniel was the last to arrive back in the briefing room. He only got back in time to hear Jack's response to something General Hammond had said.

"It's a lie. They're using Carter as a scapegoat," Jack told him sharply.

"Still, you said she was vocal in her disapproval of their project before the accident. None of this bodes well for diplomatic relations," replied Hammond.

"Well, actually, General--" began Daniel. He had been trying to say that it had been _his_ idea for Sam to even show her disapproval at their project.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Jack, holding a hand up to silence Daniel but still watching Hammond intensely. "Why are you talking about diplomatic relations?" he demanded. "This is Carter's life."

"Actually, Jack, sir," Daniel interrupted before Jack or Hammond could make another comment. "Sam stressed to me before...all of this, how valuable the naquadria is."

Hammond turned to him. "I will draft a letter to the Kelownan leader..."

"General," Jack said loudly, "you cannot capitulate with these people. They are lying bastards."

"Their government doesn't know the truth," Hammond argued. His point was weak and they all knew it.

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose as Jack said, "So, we tell them."

He saw Hammond giving Jack a very impatient look that said he was on his last nerve. "They will have little reason to believe us over their own people, especially when what we're forcing them to admit would be a major embarrassment. It will put them at too great a disadvantage in further negotiations."

"Sir, you cannot admit Carter is guilty," Jack growled.

"Give me some credit, Jack." Daniel could tell how close Hammond was to snapping. It unnerved him to see Hammond so close to loosing self-control. "I will tell them that we did not order any such action and do not condone its obvious intentions, both of which are true. Hopefully, we can lay the groundwork for further diplomatic relations, which will eventually result in an amicable trade for the naquadria. I'm _ordering_ you to deliver the letter."

Jack, seeing that he had finally crossed a line, reluctantly agreed, "Fine, sir."

Barely an hour later, Jack was standing in the gateroom, waiting for the wormhole to Kelowna to connect.

When the tech announced the wormhole stable, Jack stepped through and walked down the corridor, the same way he had taken the day before, until he saw Jonas an a lady scientist speaking quietly about something.

"Hey," said Jack, announcing his presence.

Jonas turned, startled. "Colonel O'Neill. I'm surprised to see you."

Jack didn't want to spend much time playing pleasant with the man who was using Carter as an excuse for his peoples' own incompetence. "I brought a letter from my superior to your leaders."

"Ah. Is it an apology?"

Jack had to prevent himself from giving the son of a bitch something worth apologizing about. Instead, he handed the letter to Jonas who passed it on to the scientist. She walked away, to where, Jack didn't care.

"Yeah, hardly," he responded. "You see, we know you're lying through the skin of your teeth." _Careful, O'Neill,_ he reminded himself. _Don't get carried away._

"How is Major Carter?" Jonas asked, throwing Jack--who had expected some sort of defensive phrase--slightly off balance

He quickly regained it and answered tightly, "Not good."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Jack scowled. If this person felt so bad, why was he damaging Carter's name? "Two of the scientists in the room are already dead"--That was it. Just because his own people were dead was reason enough empathize with Earth.-- "the other two will be shortly. Their deaths were horrific." Great. Just the kind of detail Jack needed to hear.

"My superior thinks that denying the allegations against Carter would be a waste of time," he replied, showing no sympathy on his part.

Jonas's own reply was enough to make Jack rethink rethinking hitting him. "He's a wise man. What I don't understand is why your goverment is even trying to maintain a relationship with us."

"Because we want some of that stuff you're experienting with. My goverment still thinks they can negotiate for it." Jack's eyes glittered dangerously at the other man.

"The naquadria is very spare and extremely valuable to us. I doubt that my goverment would agree to that," said Jonas, alomst sounding sorry.

"Yeah I figured." Jack shrugged. "That's why I'm here."

Jonas's expression turned puzzled. "I don't understand."

Finally Jack could get to the heart of his coming. General Hammond's order only made this even more possible. "I only agreed to bring this letter so I could see you."

"Why?"

"Because Carter is dying," Jack choked out, still managing to keep some neutrality in his voice.

"And you're looking for someone to blame?" Jonas said incredulously.

"I'm not going to let _you_ tarnish her name," Jack snarled. "See, I don't give a damn what that stuff is worth to _anyone_. My government will admit Carter is dead _over my dead body."_

Suspicion had entered Jonas's gaze. "What do you want from me?"

"Just to tell the truth," Jack replied as if a complete idiot could have figured it out.

"I can't." A raw edge had crept into Jonas's voice. "Even if I wanted to, without the support of the other scientists--"

_Ah, scientists,_ thought Jack, his mind returning to a conversation he had just had with one of Carter's scientists. About the non-offensive ways to use naquadria. He just couldn't quite think of how to put the scientist's ideas into words, so he said instead, "Look, we're only in this mess because you and your buddies are lying cowards trying to cover your own incompetence."

"Colonel," said Jonas. Though he still looked suspicious, his voice took on a desperate tone. "We really, truly need the weapon we're developing. Without it, the Kelownan people could easily fall to our rival nations who are developing weapons of their own, just a powerful, as we speak." His voice was befoming stonger the more ticked he became. "Now, we're willing to do whatever's necessary to ensure our freedom and a lasting peace on this planet."

Jack was trying to hide his exasperation. Hadn't these people ever heard of a peaceful talk? "All right, let me be clear about something. I think this is the point Carter and Daniel were trying to make. A weapon of mass destruction can only be used for one thing. Now, you think it will ensure peace and freedom, but I _guarantee_ you it'll never have the effect you're hoping for unless you use it, at _least_ once." Something clicked in Jack's mind. He hoped his "plan" would at least have some effect. "Now, just for the record, the reason we want this stuff is because we think it could be used to creat _defense_ shields. But you guys just go ahead; blow yourselves to hell with it." He turned angrily away and stalked back to the gate. He wasn't going to stand here and deal with anymore crap Jonas thought he could lay on him.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Sam coughed. Her throat was so dry. So was her mouth, and her lips were beginning to chap.

She tried not to hiss as a nurse changed her bandages. It had been six hours since she had become infected by the radiation and she could feel its effects. Her blood felt like it was on fire and her skin was beginning to develop lacerations, which burned with a cold fire every time her bandages needed changed.

Finally, her torture was over until another hour. She bit her lip to keep from crying. Never had she felt so helpless for her own condition, even more so than when she had been host to Jolinar. She had no idea what she had done to cause such a punishment.

"Hey Sam." Daniel's voice brought her back from self pity.

She smiled weakly. "Hey," she croaked. She coughed again. "Water," she begged. Because her eyes were closed, she couldn't see if Daniel had something or not. Either way, she felt intense relief when a straw was pressed against her lips and cool water poured down her throat. "Thanks."

"Yep." Daniel was unnaturally silent. "Uh...Sam?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm so sorry."

Sam opened her eyes a crack. Daniel himself looked close to tears. "For what?" Her voice sounded raspy and unusually low.

"You stayed behind to convince Jonas for me. If I had stayed behind--"

"I would have had a hard time coping," said Sam. "Daniel, I stayed behind because I was interested in the mechanics of their 'experiment.' Not because you forced me to do anything. You have _nothing_ to feel guilty for." For some reason, she suddenly asked, "What convinced you to go for 'enlightenment' on Kehb?"

Daniel, who had been avoiding her gaze, looked at her sharply. He was silent before answering. "It gave me hope," he said finally.

He gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder as what felt like millions of little volts of electricity shot through Sam's body.

She didn't hear Daniels worried "Sam?" as she began to convulse.

When Sam opened her eyes again, she was dressed in her blue BDUs and was completely free of bandages and pain. There was a doorway filled with light before her. A fleeting thought of her being dead passed through her head as she took a step forward. And another. And another. And emerged into the gateroom. This time, though, the control room was empty and so was the gateroom, save for a woman with long red hair and white robes.

"Your fate is in your hands," the woman said and Sam fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, pondering who the strange woman could possibly be.

Sam was brought back to wakefulness by more pain, though not nearly as bad as before, due to the morphine Janet probably injected. She was covered in even more bandages and she felt weaker than ever.

She squinted and saw Colonel O'Neill sitting to her right.

"Hey, sir," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey. I uh...I just wanted to... You know, I'm really not good at this," he said gently.

She tried to smile but it came out more as a grimace. "I hear my ideas on the naquadria are being taken into consideration."

"Yeah, apparently. If we can get some." His voice became bitter. "For what it's worth, I tried to get your's and Daniel's point across to Jonas."

"He's under tough circumstances."

"You are not going to take the fall for this. I don't care what's at stake."

Sam tried to shake her head but decided it wasn't the best idea. "Why do you care?" she asked. Would he say for sure if he still cared about her?

"Because," said Jack. Sam's heart beat painfully in anticipation. "Despite the fact we've had our share of squabbles in the past five years, I may have...grown to admire your value as a scientist."

A weight dropped into the pit of Sam's stomach. Her value as a scientist? What was that supposed to mean? "Thank you, sir," she said, a touch sarcastic.

"This will not be your last act on official record," Jack promised.

Sam might have responded, but she had started to drift back into the dream she had had before, with the woman. Suddenly, some of Jolinar's memories of Kehb and Ancients along with things Daniel had said passed through her head.

The woman was still looking at her, though it felt more like looking _through_ her. Sam remembered the name now.

"Oma," she whispered.

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**This was something I could write and use to take a mini break from all my other stories. If people hate it, I'll kill it. Otherwise, I'll keep posting.**

**R&R**


	2. Meridian Pt 2

"Oma...h-how. Why?" demanded Sam. If she was going to be visited by an Ancient, why not someone else? Wasn't Oma supposed to be the Ancient who Daniel "followed"? Out of anyone, she would have expected Orlin to be the one to come and say farewell to her.

As if reading her mind, Oma said, "Orlin is still under watch by the others. In helping you, he would be forced to redescend."

"So why are you helping me?" Sam asked, confused.

"I'm giving you a chance," replied Oma. "In questioning your friend of his reasoning for beginning the path, you served to begin your own journey down the path. Small steps are the key to long journeys. Orlin tried to come to you, but I do not like the ascended to throw away their life for something that would accomplish nothing. I come in his stead to seek out if you are truly serious about following the path as Daniel has begun to."

"Is that what you mean by saying my fate is in my hands?" Sam was beginning to feel overwhelmed and her knowledge of the Ancients was becoming scrambled and blurred. "You want me to follow the 'path'."

"Your fate is in _your_ hands," Oma repeated. "When the mind is enlightened, the spirit is free, and body matters not."

_Right,_ thought Sam._ I really don't have the time for this._ "Ascension. You want--You're trying to find out if I'm willing to ascend."

Oma dipped her head slightly.

"How can I do that? Is it even possible for me to? What do I do?"

"Questions are what bring us answers, but too many questions will bring nothing." Oma let a smile tug at her lips. "Unlike Daniel, you must fully begin your journey. With Orlin, you were able to open your mind to the possiblity to a power outside of your science. I ask you to do the same once more."

Sam closed her eyes and concentrated, like she had when Orlin came to her house. "Okay," she said opening them again. "What next?"

Oma allowed a slightly larger smile to come to her face. "Meditate."

"But if this finding the path thing will take along time...it's time I don't have," Sam said softly.

"Time is only a thing used to limit. The mind has none."

"Meaning?"

"Your people would call this a dream." She left off so Sam could figure the rest out.

Sam's eyes widened in understanding. "Time isn't relative in dreams. You're saying that here it as good as doesn't exist."

Oma nodded.

Remembering how Daniel imitated the monk's routines, Sam took off her shoes and sat on the floor. Oma glanced at her impassively and followed suit.

Sam breathed deeply and tried to do her best to meditate. Her mind kept spiralling off in different directions, not allowing her to relax--which, last she checked, was the whole point of mediatating.

She sighed an opened her eyes. Oma was giving her an amused look.

"You find it hard to loose control and admit that your views might not be the only correct ones," Oma observed. "You opened your mind once, you are capable of doing it again. I will guide you into relaxing your mind but I can do no more."

Sam closed her eyes again as Oma whispered instructions in her ear.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With an effort, Sam pulled herself back to wakefulness. She had no idea how long she had been meditating, but she figured it had been awhile...or would it even matter due to the time irrelevence?

"Because you are so pressed, you journey to ascension will be shorter than most," said a voice behind her. "But do not be decieved. Though the journey to will be short does not mean the journey it over."

"What do I do next?" Sam asked. Her heart had skipped a beat when Oma said time was pressed. Her death had to be close...

"You must release the burden that binds you to your body."

Sam couldn't think of anything binding her to her body. Sure she had no desire to die so early in her life, but that wan't much of a burden to release. "Okay. What next?"

"A tall an cannot hid in the short grass," Oma replied.

Sam blinked, conufused. She didn't have any burdens...that she knew of. Unless that's not what Oma was saying. "I'm not sure what you mean. Can you please not speak in riddles? I'm having a hard enough time coping with the fact I'm going to _die _unless someone comes up with something."

"One cannot reach enlightenment by running from death," said Oma, infuriatingly calm.

"Please," Sam said, as pleadingly as pride would allow. "Tell me what I need to do." She had the feeling Oma saw her as a little, annoying child, impatient to grow up.

"Many roads lead to the Great Path. Only the willing will find their way." Oma retook her post at sitting on the rail along the ramp.

"Well, I'm willing," said Sam. "What do I have to do next?"

Impassively, Oma answered, "The river tells no lies, though standing on the shore, the dishonest man still hears them."

"How does that help me?"

Suddenly, two people appeared in the shadows. Sam didn't recognize them until they started talking: Colonel O'Neill and Jonas.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack had been sitting by Carter's bed for at least an hour. She hadn't been concious since she started mumbling about an oma. Whatever that was. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.

Instinct told him he was being watched. Turning, he saw General Hammond and a very surprising guest standing in the observation room above.

He got up and walked into the room. "What are you doing here?" he demanded quietly to the Kelownan visitor.

"Your cammander was kind enough to grant my passage," replied Jonas sadly. "I brought this naquadria. I, uh, I took as much as I could."

Confused, Jack asked, "Why?"

With a shaky sigh, Jonas answered, "The data recorded douring that accident demonstrated the potential power of the weapon as unlike anything collected previously." He narrowed his eyes and his voice became bitter with disgust. "I really have no idea which was worse: seeing my friends and colleagues die in the manner they did or the looks of utter glee on my leaders' faces when they heard of the potential power of the device. They wanted to know whenit could be demonstrated. Then I told them the truth about what happened."

"What _did_ really happen?" Jack asked. "Major Carter wasn't to enthused to tell us and, as you can see, she is in no condition to tell us now."

Jack saw real regret on the other man's face as he said, "And for that, I am truly sorry. You have no idea the pain it's caused me to know that this was my fault." He glanced around the room. "Is there somewhere else we can talk?"

"I'd rather you tell me here, now," snapped Jack.

Jonas winced. "Major Carter and I were walking down the main corridor, heading for the lab..."

---------------------------

_"I've read the book that Doctor Jackson gave me," annonced Jonas._

_Sam's eyes widened. "Already? Wow, you just got it last night."_

_Jonas pointed to his head. "I'm a quick study. It's how I got this position at such a young age."_

_"So?"_

_"So...? Oh, I should be useful in the translating." Jonas flushed sheepishly._

_"Daniel'll be happy to hear that." Sam figured that now was as good a time as any to bring up the subject both she and Jonas loomed between them. "Daniel has found evidenee in the temple suggesting this planet was once inhabited by an very intelligent race. He tells me that, from your pictures, it looks like the civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic explosion."_

_Suspicion instantly filled Jonas's features. "Our scientists theorised that our continent was struck by an asteriod ten thousand years ago. It is highly probable that that is what wiped out the inhabitants at that time."_

_Sam said softly, "We--Daniel and I--both agree that the civilization here was experimenting with the very same technology you are now. It backfired and destroyed them."_

_"From what I heard Doctor Jackson saying about the dangers in this galaxy, it sounds like we might need weapons like this more than ever," Jonas argued._

_"True, but from what other advanced races have shown us, a sudden leap in technology will more than likely result in disaster, especially if that race isn't ready for the new technology."_

_Jonas stopped by the door to the observation room. They entered and Sam saw Tomis avidly watching the scientists in the lab begin their experiment. Jonas turned back to Sam. "Given the opportunity, would you deny us our only possible defense?"_

_"Well, I don't know what would happen to your people reguardless of whether or not you use you weapon, but I just wish you could think of another way," responded Sam, watching the scientists with almost as much interest as Tomis--just for differnt reasons._

_She saw one of the scientists turn to one nearby and begin talking quickly. He then turned to Tomis. "The energy readings just increased by a power of ten."_

_Sickening excitement filled Tomis's face. "Incredible."_

_Sam, who was watching the device carefully, noticed something._

_"Did you see that?" asked the scientist who working the device gleefully._

_One of the measuring devices in the lab suddenly indicated a great leap in energy. The core in the device began collapsing into the actual device and Sam watched in growing horror as all of the scientists collapsed. Alarms began blaring loudly._

_Tomis's look of excitement had changed to one of pure terror. "Get down and stay away from the glass! The radiation will penitrate the window!"_

_Jonas stared at his mentor with fear on his face. "What's happening?"_

_"The device could explode," responded Tomis before he ran out the door and fled with a crowd of other frightened Kelownans. _Coward! _thought Sam angrily._

_"Tomis!" Jonas called after him, but Tomis was long gone._

_One of the scientists stood up as if in pain. "We have to remove the core."_

_Jonas pressed himself against the wall as if he thought he could melt into it and be safe. The scientist collapsed again before he could reach the device._

_Even before her mission here, Sam knew what adrenaline could do to your brain. You would act before you think and that could lead to all sorts of trouble. She had no idea what possessed her to do what she did, but Sam went back to the wall and took out her pistol. She aimed for the middle of the glass and shot it, point blank._

_"No! Major Carter, don't" cried Jonas._

_Sam ignored him. The shots from her small gun hadn't been enough to shatter the glass, so she charged it and fell into the room. She rolled like she had been taught back at the military academy to prevent herself from breaking any bones and hopped up. Though still disoriented from hitting the floor, she quickly identified the device. She walked over and tried to touch it but heat from the radiation burned her hand. Pullign her sleeves over her hands, she removed the core._

_Common sense flooded her mind as she realized what she had done. She stared dumbly at her hands, disbelieving, before turning her gaze toward the observation room. Jonas, too, looked down on her wearing a stunned face._

----------------------------

"I am terribly ashamed that no one could bring themselves to recognize Major Carter's heroism. She saved so many lives... It is a debt my planet will never be able to repay." Jonas, shamefaced, couldn't bring himself to meet Jack's eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And millions could still die," Sam whispered. Jack and Jonas faded and she couldn't see what they were doing now.

"The future is never certain. You saved many without regard to your own life," said Oma.

"I could have done more," Sam snapped. "I could have sabotaged the device and made Jonas's claims true. Then I would know for sure I'm not dying for nothing!"

"You still believe your journey is not over," said Oma softly.

"I wasn't all that sure I was on any journey," Sam smiled wryly. "Even my dad thought I would end up as nothing. He only supported my dream to be an astronaut because he thought he would die. Then he found out that wasn't my dream anymore and I proved to him, once again, that I had no ambition. Honestly, how do I know my life wasn't a waste?"

Daniel appeared, sitting on an invisible chair. "Hey, uh..." Sam was shocked to see how upset he looked. He reminded her of when he head just lost Sha're. He sniffed. "Jonas came back and he, uh, stole soem naquadria for us--for you, actually. He told us it was because of what you did for his people. He wants you to know that Kelowna owes you a debt it can never repay." He struggled against a fresh wave of sorrow before continuing, "I really wish it had come to this, Sam. Why do I have to loose all the most important people in my life? First, my parents, then Sha're, and now you. I guess I want..." He shook his head hopelessly.

As he, too, faded, Oma said, "You can never reach enlightenment if you do not believe yourself worthy."

"I can't believe I'm worthy if I've got nothing to show for it," replied Sam. She was touched that Daniel was so hurt by her dying. She didn't relish in the thought, but she was comforted to know that someone cared enough to voice how he felt.

Suddenly, the gateroom slowly twisted and blurred into her office. Out of instinct, she organized the papers her scientists let scatter all over her once tidy counter. She looked up when Teal'c materialized on the other side of the counter.

"Major Carter," he said. He held up what looked like one of Daniel's Egyptian statues. "On one of my birthdays, I received this from Daniel Jackson. The idea, I am told, was that this statue would serve its owner in the afterlife. It is not much, but it is a small comfort to give you something that may serve you."

"I appreciate it Teal'c, I really do," Sam smiled mirthlessly, "but I don't really want to think about my impending death." She picked up a picture of herself, Mark, and her parents. It had been taken barely a week before her mother died.

"If you are to die, Major Carter," Teal'c continued, "I wish you to know that I believe the fight against the Goa'uld will have lost one of its greatest warriors."

Sam tore her eyes away from the picture to give Teal'c her attention.

"And I will have lost one of my greatest friends," he finished, adding a warrior's salute.

Sam's eyes brimmed with tears. Teal'c had given her the highest honors a Jaffa could give: his undying loyalty and recognition as a great warrior.

"Because it is so clear," Oma said as the gateroom came back, "it takes a long time to realize it. If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago."

"I'm not a very good philosopher," Sam quipped weakly.

As exasperated as she could be, Oma replied, "Why do you feel you have failed on your journey? Without your tireless work, the Stargate would not be open now."

Sam shook her head. "Daniel's the one who figured everything out."

"Everything?" asked Oma. Sam could almost swear she sounded a bit smug, and she could see why; Oma had a valid point. She was still disbelieving, so Oma added, "You laid the foundation that aided Doctor Jackson's solving of the gate."

"How?"

"Your tireless nights did not count for nothing," Oma answered.

"Does that give me free rights to ascension?" Sam joked half-heartedly. "Look, my dad was right. My life had been one failure after another."

"You feel your journey must continue until you find redemption for you failures?" Oma asked.

"I can't if I die," Sam pointed out.

"Exactly true."

"So, you mean ascension isn't really death. But don't I have to die in order to ascend?"

Oma remained silent for a moment. "I only matters how long you have been dedicated to the path throughout your life," she finally replied.

"But I still don't feel like I deserve to ascend," Sam argued.

"The people closest to you have been trying to tell you otherwise. Your father had yet to learn wisdom years ago. When you saved him by blending him with the Tok'ra Selmak, you saved his life and broadened his mind. Were he here, I' am sure he would tell you exactly what your friends have been trying to tell you all along."

"It doesn't take away all of the pain he caused," Sam said bitterly. Her memories of Jacob after his wife died were not pleasant. "I still think there was more I could have done. All I wanted him to do was say he was proud of me. Just once. But he never did. This whole time, I've felt my life has been for nothing."

Sam didn't know why she was sharing her deepest secrets with this stranger. She figured it was probably because Oma was the first motherly figure to come along since her own mother had died. Either way, it was too late to go back. Oma could probably pick up on why her self esteem was so low, especially now.

"The universe is vast and we are so small. But, there is only one thing that we can ever truly control."

"And that is?"

"Whether we are good or evil." With that, She began to walk up that ramp, toward the gate.

"Wait, you can't leave," protested Sam.

"The rest is up to you." Oma paused.

"Why am I getting the chance to ascend?" Sam demanded.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack had escorted Jonas to the briefing room so he could speak with Hammond. He knew Jonas had been dancing around something but he wasn't quite sure what, yet.

"Obviously," Jonas was saying, "they don't know I'm here. I was lucky enough to access the Stargate. If I'm caught returning home, I'll be branded a traitor."

"What do you want?" Jack growled.

"I don't think my people would support a war that leads to mass desruction. It's just that our leaders don't see any viable alternative right now. Promise me, that if you're able to develop defense technologies like the shields you spoke of, you'll share them with my government." Jack knew how hard it was for Jonas to turn to strangers and practically plead for his peoples' safety. Still, he wasn't very happy with the idea of aiding the people who would be Carter's killers. Luckily, he was saved by the klaxons going off.

"Unauthorized incoming wormhole," Davis announced.

"Wait here," Hammond ordered Jonas. Both he and Jack hurried to the control room.

"Receiving Tok'ra IDC," Davis told them.

"All defense teams on high alert," Hammond commanded.

Into the microphone, Davis said, "High alert. Repeat, high alert."

A dozen SFs raced into the gateroom and took up defensive postions.

"Open the iris," ordered Hammond.

Davis complied and Jacob Carter stepped through.

Hammond breathed a sigh of relief and leaned over saying, "Stand down," into the microphone.

The SFs lowered thier weapons and Hammond went to greet his old friend.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "Given what's been happening with the Tok'ra lately, we had to be sure it was you."

Worried by Hammond's somberness, Jacob knew something bad was up. "Understood. What's going on?"

Jack answered. "It's Sam."

His lips tightened into a straight line, Jacob strode off to the infirmary without another word.

He entered the room and saw Daniel sitting next to a bundle of bandages Jacob assumed was his daughter.

"Hey Daniel," he whispered. "How is she, considering?"

Daniel turned. He rubbed his eyes. "Not good. I'm sorry Jacob." He handed Jacob the healing device. "I had this just in case you came."

Jacob nodded and took the device. "We'll do our best." He took Daniel's place beside Sam and held the device over Sam. Selmak took control. They activated the device and Jacob's heart twisted when he realized the extent of the damage.

"Her condition is grave," Selmak said sadly. "I am afraid that I will be unable to save her. Even if I succeed, she would be crippled for the rest of her life."

"Do what you can," George said from behind.

Selmak reactivated the device.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam gasped. "They're trying to save me. My dad--it has to be him--he's healing me. I feel it."

"Then your journey will continue as before," Oma said without any emotion.

"I'll be a cripple. I'd rather die than give up everything I've worked for. For as much as it's worth, death is the same thing. I don't want to go back," Sam said with finality. She just hoped she knew what she was getting herself into.

"Walking the Graet Path brings great responsibility," Oma said. "You cannot fear it nor hesitate in your resolve."

"I understand. I'm willing to go. I'm not entirely sure I deserve it, but I'm willing." Sam steeled herself.

"Them stop them."

"How?"

Oma told her and Sam's surroundings blurred until she was standing in her room, watching her dad heal her while the others watched. Choosing carefully, she walked slowly over to Jack and touched him reluctantly on the shoulder. They were brought to the gateroom again.

"Carter," he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes, sir," Sam replied.

Still stunned, Jack said slowly, "Did you want something?"

"I want you to tell Dad to stop."

"What? Why?"

"I need to go," Sam, replied. "I don't want to be half there if it means loosing everything I worked for."

"So what? You're just gonna give up?"

She wished he would stop playing dumb. Her last statement had obviously helped him get over his shock at her asking him to let her go. He shouldn't assume that she'd up and quit without a fight.

"No, sir. There's no way I'm giving up." She looked questioningly at Oma. Jack followed her gaze. "Remember Oma from Kehb?"

"Vaguely." As he spoke, Oma glowed and glided toward where the horizon should have been, only to actually become the horison itself.

"I'm going to be able to do more this way than if I were to stay with you guys. I'll be fine. Sir, please just tell my dad to stop."

Jack closed his eyes as the walled did the same blurry thing they had done when Carter first "contacted" him. Hearing the healing device still going, he opened his eyes.

This was probably one of the hardest things he would ever have to do, but he forced himself to do it for Carter. "Jacob, stop," he said gently.

"Are you serious?" Jacob turned along with the others but did not stop the device.

"She wants you to."

"Does anyone else want to tell me differently? I mean, this _is_ my daughter."

"Please just let her go," coaxed Jack.

Reluctantly, Jacob stopped and let his hands fall to his sides. He saw and heard Sam exhale deeply and had to close his eyes to block the tears as her moniter flatlined.

"Colonel?" cried Janet. She was stopped from saying anymore by what was happening in front of her.

Sam's body glowed a soft, golden color and rose toward the ceiling.

The next thing Jack knew, he was back in the gateroom.

Sam, who was looking yearningly at the gate, turned as Jack came back. "Thank you."

It hurt him to see the relief that flooded her face as she turned to the gate and walked up the ramp.

"I'm going to miss you, sir. All of you," she said.

Jack nodded, unable to speak.

Before she could turn again, he found his voice, "Hey...where are you going?"

Sam smiled. "I guess I'm going to find out." She walked through the gate.

Back Sam's room, SG-1 along with Janet, Jacob, and Hammond watched Sam vanish through the ceiling.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Never fear, it's not ending here! This is only chapter two. I've got at least four or five more planned. **

**I'm making more of an effort to listen to everyone's advice. Sorry I couldn't work with everyone's, but at least we (Thalia and I) are trying.**

**R&R**


	3. Full Circle Pt 1

After her reassurances to Skaara and a few other Abydonians, Sam rushed to Earth as fast as her noncorporeal body could move. This was one of the times she wished energy could just appear in one area from another, more distant area, but her "precious laws of science", as Orlin called them, proved otherwise. Despite the delay, as energy she could still move quite quickly throughout the galaxy.

Normally, on something like this Sam wouldn't be allowed to even warn Earth but Anubis was more or less a part acended being and the acended always made amends--without interfering, of course. Since Anubis was part acended, Oma had allowed Sam to interfer on the one occasion. Not including when she had broken a few minor rules and entered Teal'c's dream reality, or when she had stayed with the colonel when Ba'al captured him. She was somewhat angry with the others for not going to Daniel's aid when Niirti performed her experiments on him, but they must have known he would get out alive, otherwise she was sure she could have helped him in some way.

She had finally made it to the SGC. It was just as she remembered. The halls had airmen, SG team members, doctors, and scientists going through the halls, lounging in the commisary, working in their offices, or working out in the gym. It took her a moment to locate the person she was looking for. Seeing him get into an elevator, she would have smirked, if she could, at the simplicity of finding him alone.

She entered the elevator and waited for the doors to close and it to start moving. The doors closed, but Sam realized that every second was time wasted for the Abydonians. She stopped the elevator. Unexpectedly, the lights flickered. _Though,_ mused Sam, _they also weren't made to withstand an ascended person stopping them either._ Using the lights to her advantage, she reappeared in the Abydonian robes she had "worn" back on Abydos.

The colonel picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said. "This is Col...Hello?"

"Colonel," Sam said, her voice cracking for some reason.

Whatever it was, it went away when he put his ear to the phone again. "Sir," she said, using her this-is-very-important-so-please-don't-be-an-ass tone. "Look, sir. Abydos is in a lot of trouble. Anubis is going there to find the Eye of Ra. From the little investigating I ever tried to do on the planet, I think it's located in a secret chamber somewhere in the pyramid. You'd have to ask Daniel for information on the six Eyes, but I do know that whatever they are, if Anubis were to collect all of them, the power of each individual Eye would be increased ten fold. Only recently has he managed to find five of the Eyes. He's looked everywhere Ra used to be except Abydos."

"I'm sure that was an asprin I took this morning." was the answer.

Sam wanted to smack herself--or the colonel, but at the moment she couldn't touch him--in frustration. Either he really did think he was hallucinating, which she highly doubted, or he was just being his usual smartass self. If so, why was he acting this was with her? "Colonel, it's me. Sir, you and SG-1 have to help. You need to find the Eye of Ra before Anubis. I don't care what you do with it once you find it, just keep it away from Anubis. There isn't much time."

He turned to face her. "Hey Carter!" he said in a falsely surprised and cheery voice. "Long time no see. How's being ascended workin' for ya?"

"It's fine, sir," Sam sighed. "Sir, at the risk of repeating myself, we don't have much time."

"Ya know," he continued, ignoring Sam's insistence of there being little time. "I would think, with you being ascended and all, that you'd finally drop the 'sir' and just call me 'colonel' like General Hammond does."

"Colonel," Sam groaned in exasperation. She dropped her head into her hands.

"Like that," he admonished with a half-hearted, joking edge to his tone. He became more serious. "Ya know, a pretty funny thing happened to me today."

"Really, sir," Sam responded, not looking up. She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Yep. So I get on this elevator. I try to go up, when a long lost friend appears. She just comes outta nowhere. About a year ago she left us and never calls and never writes, but then she just shows up and tells me about this very important and appartently urgent mission that needs my attention."

Sam blinked. What was wrong with the colonel? He had never spoken to her like this when she was alive. The only time she could ever really recall was when he was speaking to Jolinar. "Sir, people's lives are at stake. Are--"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second, let me finish. This long lost friend, she ascended to a higher level of existence. You see the irony here? She's asking for _my_ help when _she's_ the great and powerful being," he snapped.

"Colonel," Sam said sharply. He didn't seem to be phased by her change in tone. "I tried to tell you when you were Ba'al's captive. You know I can't interfere."

"I'm still not clear on _why,_" he said.

"Right now, I'm low on the ascended food chain, _sir,_" she snapped. "There are still _rules_ I have to follow. They were iffy about me even coming to talk to you now. We can't interfere with anything that changes human existence. Orlin discreetly communicated with the people of and was forced to live on that planet alone."

"What about Oma," he asked sounding mildly skeptic.

"Oma and all of us that follow her are walking a very fine line. She believes in helping people. While the other Others sit by and only interfere when something _might_ affect them."

"So why don't they stop her--make her more like them, or even do to her what they did to Orlin?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Oh?"

"Being an ascended being won't make someone all-knowing and all-powerful. I do know that any attempt on my part to her you would be stopped by Oma herself, to avoid angering the Others. If they wanted to, they could prevent Oma from doing what she has been trying to do for a very long time." Sam was beginning to feel wary of staying for much longer. One, because the technitians would eventually figure out that one elevator wasn't working; two, because she didn't like being around the colonel when he was in this mood; and three, because she didn't know how fine a line she was walking in staying. She let the elevator start moving again and the lights flickered. "I will not risk her plans."

Using the lights again, she vanished from the colonel's sight.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam had confidence that the colonel would tell the other members of SG-1. Even in his mood, she knew he would not risk the lives of anyone on Abydos.

The planet, to her relief, was just as she had left it. Anubis's ship had yet to approach orbit. Even so, she merely hung around Skaara, never letting herself be seen.

Skaara knew that SG-1 would be coming through the gate, so Sam felt no need to tell him. She was still not pleased that she would have to wait for Hammond to decide to send SG-1 to Abydos.

After so long, she got bored and stayed in the gateroom. Skaara was in another room confering with the elders. Suddenly, the gate whirred to life.

_Finally_, she thought.

Skaara, who must have heard the gate as well, walked in and greeted the colonel. Daniel received a fiercer hug than the colonel. "It is good to see you," Skaara said.

Teal'c inclined his head. Jonas stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Jonas Quinn."

Another Abydonian walked in as Skaara replied, "It is good to meet you."

"We are prepared to do as you ask," the Abydonian said.

"And we appreciate that," the colonel replied. "Teal'c, set up a perimeter; I want to know as soon as we have company. Any idea where this Eye thing is?"

"I will show you," replied Skaara. He exchanged a quick glance with Daniel, who motioned that Skaara lead. SG-1, with the exception of Teal'c, followed Skaara into a chaber deeper within the pyramid. Sam, too, followed. She didn't need any light but the others took torches with them.

"This is as far as the catacombs go. Daniel and I spent much time here." Skaara waved his torch around in a wide arch.

"No Eyes?" the colonel asked.

"No Jack," Daniel said. "But the Eye of Ra mentioned many times in the writings on the walls."

He seemed upset, observed Sam. If she hadn't known him better, she wouldn't have seen it, but Daniel was a little off.

"Just so we're clear, it's not a real eye? It's a kind of jewel or something,"

"Jack, a real eye probably couldn't focus energy like a jewel can," Daniel said impatiently.

The colonel shrugged in response. "We have never been able to find it," Skaara said.

Sam froze. She "felt" something just outside the planet. It had to be Anubis's ship. Finding the Eye suddenly became even more urgent but she dared not reveal herself.

In her moment of distraction, the colonel and Skaara had begun a casual conversation while Daniel double-checked the writings on the wall. Apparently Skaara was betrothed and both the colonel and Daniel were invited.

The colonel and Jonas went out to check on Teal'c.

Bored once more, Sam took human form while still staying invisible. She walked over to where Daniel was reading. The writings were all foreign to her but she was amused to see Daniel easily reading. She leaned against the wall. She didn't anticpate him finishing with that section and, in order to go to the next, he passed through her. He paused and glanced suspiciously around. "Hello?" he called.

_If I wasn't restrictied from it, I'd answer and let you all know I was here,_ Sam thought. Her eyes widened. Could that be why Daniel was off? He had probably found out about her small visits to Teal'c and the colonel, but she hadn't come to him when he needed it. If--_when_--she got the chance to, she would have to tell him why she couldn't be there for him. She shivered when she "felt" ships pass over their location.

Deciding it was his imagination, Daniel went back to reading.

"Hey Daniel!" came the colonel's jovial voice from behind. Both Sam and Daniel jumped. Jack, Skaara, and Jonas were standing in the entrance. "How ya doin' there? Ya know we don't have all day."

"I know but there isn't much to go on. I was just rereading everything to see if there was something I missed," Daniel said distantly, his eyes sliding over the wall. "So far, there's been no mention of a secret chamber where Ra kept his most valuable possessions. Still, I know there has to be one here somewhere."

"Uh huh."

The radio crackled. "O'Neill, we are under attack! Ground forces have landed. We will not be able to hold them off for long."

"Roger that," the colonel answered. "Okay camper, you heard the man."

"Jack, there is nothing here," Daniel growled.

"Maybe Carter knows something."

"She's not here. I mean, she can't be, can she?"

"Oh she's here. She is definitely here. Carter, come out! We're only here because _you_ had to tell me about Abydos."

Reluctantly, Sam had to agree. Since she was behind them, there was no point in a really dramatic entrance. That and there was no time. "Yes, sir," she said.

The other three whirled around, two of which looked like they were seeing a ghost.

"Sam!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Hey Daniel. Jonas," Sam acknowledged.

"Major Carter," Jonas whispered.

The roof suddenly shook. Tendrils of dust fell from the ceiling.

"You hear that?" Jack demanded.

"Sir, remember the fine line?" Sam knew what he would say and she knew what the consequences would be if she obeyed. Oma had once told her, just after Teal'c's duel-realities, that she must decide who she was going to obey: the needs of her friends, which in doing so who have dire consequences; or obeying the path Oma has chosen and just be careful not to cross the line.

Predictably, Jack said, "Cross it."

Sam hesitated. If she listened to Colonel O'Neill, possibly millions could be saved with her life as one of the hopefully few casualties. If she listened to Oma, everyone on the planet, including her friends, would die. The worst the Others could do was kill her, which was obviously impossible. "Fine, sir," she said resignedly. "Daniel, what was it you said about a secret chamber?"

Before Daniel could answer, the colonel's radio crackled again. "O'Neill, we cannot hold our position!"

Into the radio, the colonel ordered, "Fall back to the pyramid." To the three scientists, he said, "You guys do your stuff. I'll help Teal'c."

He went to leave. "I will come with you," Skaara said, and went out as well.

Daniel looked at the wall. Out of instinct, Sam was a couple of milliseconds behind in following his gaze. Jonas, seeing them, mimicked their stare. Daniel walked over to the wall. He rubbed his hand along it and hissed in frustration. "I've always thought there might be a hidden chamber on the other side of this wall. Sam, can't you just...make yourself glow and go through this wall to see if I'm right?"

Sam flinched. She would have to interfere without interfering. If she were to hold to that, she couldn't help like that. "Sorry."

"S'okay. I don't want you to break any more rules than you have to." He looked at a patch of heiroglyphs. "The rays of the sun will reveal all. There's no sun, so what can it mean?"

"Sun_light_," said Jonas. "Maybe any kind of light would do?"

Sam shrugged. "It's possible," said Daniel.

Jonas took the light of his P-90 and shined it on a jewel in the wall.

"Try focusing it," suggested Sam. She winced. Falling into old habits is exactly what would probably invoke the Others' wrath.

Jonas took out a magnifying glass.

"Isn't that mine?" Daniel asked, doing a pretty good impression of Teal'c's eyebrow raise.

"I needed it for an experiment," Jonas muttered.

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Daniel," cackled Daniel's radio.

"We're _trying_ Jack," Daniel snapped in response.

"Well then work faster."

After a few minutes, the three had to admit defeat. It was apparent the not just any light would open the chamber.

"I thought we were on to something," Jonas sighed.

"You are." Daniel's eyes lit up. Sam waited for him to elaborate.

"It's not working," Jonas pointed out.

"It's red," Daniel said.

"What is?"

"The rays of the sun on the fresco(?) are red." He paused, waiting for someone to finish the thought.

Sam smacked herself on the head. "Of course! Jonas, focus the laser of your P-90 on the jewel."

Jonas lifted his gun and did so. The door opened. "Sweet," he said. They walked in and began investigating. Sam stopped.

Daniel turned to look at her. "They're in the pyramid," she replied to his questioning gaze. "We have to hurry." She briskly walked over to a table and began looking over it. A slab of stone caught her eye. Her brow furrowed in confusion when she saw that it was in Latin. Her brow furrowed further and she bit her lip when she realized she could understand it. Languages were supposed to be Daniel's thing; she knew some Spanish but not enough to recognize Latin in any of the dialects. Unless, because the ascended and the Ancients were the same, she could now understand the language; which meant that...

"I'm an Ancient," she said in awe.

"What?" asked Daniel, who was not expecting her to speak, let alone announce she was an Ancient.

"Well, technically not me, but the Others like me. They're Ancients."

Daniel came over and picked the tablet up. "It's in one of the oldest Ancient dialects," he said. "Can you read all of it? I can translate the majority of it; enough to grasp the concept since I'm not entirely familiar with this particular dialect."

"Uh, yeah," she shifted closer to get a better angle. "It talks about how the Ancient evolved from a race of people that are a lot older than us. A plague swept across their galaxy and wiped them out. A large amount learned how to ascend..." she faltered. There was a prickly feeling in the back of her neck. There wasn't enough time to finish the translation but there was enough time to finish the sentence. She was sure Daniel could translate from there. "But the rest died out." She backed up a couple steps. "I need to go." Anubis was here. She thought she may be able to buy time if not stop Anubis entirely. "Don't let anything happen to that tablet. There's something about a lost city. Anubis can't get it; it's too valuable."

"Sam?" said Daniel warily as she glowed.

_I'll be back,_ she tried to communicate. Quickly, she made her way to Anubis's ship.

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**Please don't be too harsh. This chapter was especially difficult to write. There should be about four or five more chapters to go. It depends on Thalia.**

**R&R**


	4. Full Circle Pt 2

On her way to Anubis's ship, Sam hadn't yet realized that the Eye of Ra had been stumbled upon by Ra, as well as Skaara's untimely death and ascension. She had sensed the presence of two Others briefly before they vanished.

Anubis wasn't hard to locate. Standing invisible near by, she waited for the first prime to leave.

"He will give you the Eye of Ra or Abydos will be destroyed," Anubis was saying.

"Yes my lord," the first prime andswered with a hateful smile.

Anger boiled through Sam's essence. The innocent people of Abydos wouldn't die if she had anythig to say about it! That and her friends would perish in the assault.

"I will not let you touch Abydos," she hissed, letting herself be seen.

Anubis turned to her. "And how will you stop me?" She sensed an amused or mocking undertone to his words.

"You'll just have to find out if one more person is hurt or killed down there," she retorted.

Anubis shook his hooded head. "I know what you are. You can only stand there and utter empty threats."

"If you know what I am, then you know very well that I can wipe you from existence."

From his next words, Sam had the feeling he would have been smirking. She frowned as he said, "I know _who_ you are, Samantha Carter, but you know not who I am."

The darkness in his hood became replaced by an eerily familiar light as Sam realized in horror that Anubis was an Ancient, or at least a partial one. Suddenly, some of her friends' plights and Anubis's destruction of Goa'uld forces began to make sense. If he was an Ancient, even a partial one, he was able to work any Ancient technology, making his domination much easier. With the Eyes, he would be nearly unstoppable. The darkness covered his "face" once more.

"With the wave of my hand, I will bombard the surface," he threatened. Sam was afraid ask how; she knew he wasn't so empty in his words. "You can stop me if you choose."

"I will," Sam vowed venomously.

"Your words mean nothing," he scoffed. "Take action if you dare."

Sam happened to glance out of the veiwing screen and see Goa'uld mothership exit hyperspace. She smiled as Yu appeared on the screen.

"I command the collective forces of the System Lords," he said. Sam figured this was probably an old conversation.

Anubis casually replied, "You have finally managed to rally them against me."

"You will hand over the Eye of Ra or face destruction."

"I will consider you generous offer," said Anubis, although Sam thought he would do quite the opposite. Yu disappeared.

"You can't survive that many motherships," Sam said without conviction. She now knew what Anubis was capable of and that he had a slight advantage over the others, regardless of how many were on each side.

"They are not attacking because they fear me," he retorted.

"They can beat you since you don't have all seven Eyes," bluffed Sam with false confidence.

"You know this for a fact?" Anubis asked. For the first time, Sam heard the firmness in his voice waver.

"If you give me your word you won't destroy Abydos or its people, I _might_ give you the Eye of Ra," Sam said without thinking. Instantly, she regreted it. If he got the Eye, he would be the most powerful creature in the galaxy. Still, even for a bastard like Anubis, she could go back on her word; her sense of rightness wouldn't let her no matter how disgusted she was at the thought. Trusting what was written on the tablet was Earth's omly was to defeat him if her freshly conceived was to work.

"So be it." Exactly what Sam wasn't wanting to hear.

She unhappily replied, "That's a promise I hold you to, _no matter what._"

Yu's ship was easy for her to find. As quickly as she could, she communicated to him about the Eye and it's properties. Luckily, Yu didn't question where his sudden knowledge came from.

She left the ship and returned to the pyramid in time to hear the colonel say, "Anubis must really want this thing if his boys have held off this long."

"He does," she answered, appearing behind them.

"Where were you?" Daniel asked worriedly.

"Busy. Really busy," she replied.

"Oh, and thanks for Skaara. I assume he's okay," the colonel added.

Sam blinked in confusion. "What? What are you talking about?"

"He has ascended," Teal'c said.

"W-wha?"

"That wasn't you?" It was O'Neill's turn to sound confused.

Sam felt it again. The presence of another ascended being. She closed her eyes. "Oma's here," she sighed.

And...?" O'Neill asked, leaving the rest unspoken. Her eyes opened. Was that hopefulness she saw?

"I don't care. You guys's lives are at stake and I won't let him kill you," she answered with the conviction she hadn't had back on the ship. "Besides, he's one of..._us_, anyway. We're supposed to clean up our messes."

"What?"

"In some bastardized way, he's one of us," she repeated.

"What do you mean," he asked.

She answered, "The Goa'uld that Anubis once was learned how to ascend."

"He was believed to have been dead for some time," Teal'c supplied.

"From what I can guess, and for obvious reasons, the Others didn't want him."

"Understandable," Jonas muttered.

"They tried to send him back but he found some way to stop it."

"So, what is he now?" Daniel asked.

"The black mask he has is what's keeping his energy intact. He's been stuck somewhere between human existence and descension."

"Why have the Others allowed him to remain this way?" Teal'c asked.

"Honestly," said Sam," I don't know. Maybe because they couldn't exile him completely."

"Maybe they just don't care," O'Neill suggested.

"Maybe," Sam shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Either way, he's still very powerful."

"That explains why he's able to master the Ancient technology so easily," said Jonas.

"Huh?" the colonel asked, glancing between the three scientists. "How's that?"

"Sir, the Others are really the Ancients. They are the creators of the Stargates. Neither of you told him?"

"Well, we didn't really have a lot of time..." Daniel said. He and the rest of SG-1 froze as they heard Anubis's first prime and troop of Jaffa advance.

"Just tell me what you're supposed to be getting at," said O'Neill impatiently.

"Anubis's surrounded by a fleet of Goa'uld motherships," Sam said. "I warned Yu about the Eye and what it can do."

"Sweet," O'Neill responded.

Sam didn't want to have to tell him about her bargain. "Give it to them."

She winced at his expression. "Excuse me?"

"Look, sir, I made a deal with Anubis. You give him the Eye and he's supposed to leave Abydos alone."

"You made a deal. With Anubis," he repeated disbelievingly.

"I'm making sure he keeps it," Sam replied with false confidence. "Hopefully, in their determination to get the Eye, the other Goa'uld will destroy themselves and Anubis. Either way, while they're busy recovering, you'll have time to look for the Ancient's lost city."

"The lost city?" he asked slowly.

Sam raised an eyebrow at Daniel and Jonas.

"Ah, Sam found a tablet that made a reference to _the_ lost city of the Ancients," Daniel quickly said.

"If I read correctly, then there's powerful weapons capable of giving the people of Earth a huge advantage over Anubis." Sam was pretty sure she translated correctly; the words were almost as plain as English. Now that the link between her understanding of a Latin-based language and Latin being the Ancients main language, it made some sense. She still didn't understand how she was able to completely comprehend a language she had only seen in passing in Daniel's lab.

"Do you have any idea where it is?" O'Neill asked.

"No, but I'll try to help you find it. What I need you to do it hand the Eye over and get back to the SGC. You cannot let anything happen to that tablet. Anubis already has an advantage over us because of his fail descension. We can't afford to give him another vantage over you."

The others were silent for a moment. Finally, O'Neill said, "You gonna kick his ass?"

Sam smiled. "If I have to, sir."

"Can you?" he asked.

Sam looked at Daniel as she answered, "_Nothing_ will happen to the people of Abydos if I have any say."

Without another word, she "glowed" and left once more for Anubis's ship. As she rose higher and higher, she felt more ascended beings and wondered in the Others were, for some reason, sending a legion of their fellows to stop her. By now, Anubis's first prime should be returning to the ship with the Eye. Her suspicoin was confirmed when she saw his ship powering up to fire. She hurried to Anibis's bridge with renewed purpose. Anubis's hand was hovering over the control to activate the weapon.

"No! Stop!" she ordered. She ignored a staff blast shot at her by the first prime. It went through her and harmlessly hit the wall.

"Stop me, if you can!" Anubis hissed triumphantly.

Sam raised her arms outward and her hands began to glow with a brilliant, golden light.

"Strike me now, or I will destry Abydos," he goaded.

Sam forced the energy surrounding her hands toward him. Little hooks pulled at her essence and the energy she had projected toward Anubis. He raised a hand to defend himself.

The hooks pulled harder. This wasn't Anubis; the Others had finally decided to interfere. "No!" she cried. "Don't do this!" Her attack dissipated and she felt her essence torn, ripped back to the other Ancients.

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**For the most part, I have the rest planned. If anyone has anything they might want me to add later, ideas are welcome.**

**I apologize for the shortness of this chapter and probably the next.**

**R&R**


	5. Farewells

**I hope no one will get the inpression this will end up being an S/D or S/J fic. I intend it to be purely team friendship. I figure this because I'm an S/Der but I have a lot of S/Jers reading this (at least, that's the impression I got from my comments), so, since I won't write S/J and most of you won't read S/D, I'll just keep it neutral. (Please be aware that I'm _trying_ to make it lean a little more to the S/J ship.)**

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Sam knew her fate wasn't good. The Others had made that much clear.

Initially, she assumed it would be similar to Orlin's; only she would be forced into exile on the now-empty, ruined Abydos. The Others soon showed that her punishment would be different. Until they came up with something final, she was allowed to roam wherever she pleased. If she chose to interfere in any way, the Others would haul her ass back and follow through with whatever punishment was being discussed thus far.

Orlin had tried to comfort her but anything he communicated could neither make her feel better nor make the situation go away. None of the Abydonians were allowed to come near her. Oma had spoken in her defense and she hoped Oma had managed to convice them to lessen the blow.

Tired of staying in the Ancients corner of the galaxy, she went to check up on her friends and say her final words to them.

Teal'c was the first one she could find. He was in kel'no'reem. She was tempted to reach out to him like she had when Ba'al captured the colonel. Still, her orders were clear and she couldn't interfere in _any_ way.

She extended her arm out to touch his shoulder and, as she had expected, her hand met no resistance. He never stirred. "Thank you, Teal'c," she murmured. "I would have been lost quite a few times if your strength hadn't kept me grounded. I just wish I could have done more to repay you." His eyes flicked in response.

After a few minutes, she went in search of Daniel or the colonel.

She found O'Neill in his office. Dozens of papers--probably memos--were stacked neatly in a pile, untouched, to one side. She smiled in amusement when she saw him spinning in his chair, playing with two paper wads. Dizzy, he stopped spinning. After a few seconds recovering, he grabbed one of the memos and made a third paper wad and began juggling. He had amazing coordination for someone who had been so unsteady moments before. The wads stayed in the air before one slipped and soon the other two quickly followed it to the floor. With a curse, he picked them up and set them on his desk.

Sam cleared her throat. "Hey, sir. I'm forbidden to actually talk to you, but I wanted to say thanks. You convinced me to do the right thing, helping you back on Abydos. I'm in deep shit for it, but at least my conscience is clear.

"The past year has given me some time to think—not that time means the same to the two of us or anything. I know you told me--and Anise, Teal'c and a few others—that you cared for me but—. I almost wish you had told me if you still cared for me a year ago. If you said yes, I probably would have stayed and tried to live with being a cripple. Just...I just want you to know that I don't blame you. For anything."

Gingerly, she left his office and walked the familiar halls of the SGC—probably for the last time. Instead of looking for the final two members of SG-1, she allowed herself to wander aimlessly. Along the way, she passed both many old and many unfamiliar faces. She stopped in the infirmary for a couple seconds before deciding her time may be too limited to loiter.

As she knew he would be, she found Daniel in his office at his desk. As usual, papers were skewed across his desk, though the corner with Sha're's photo was clean. Several artifacts adorned various spaces on the walls and book shelves. She smiled upon seeing him hunched over something on his desk. Closer inspection showed it to be the tablet and his notebook, which held a surprisingly large amount of already translated text.

She tapped the desk and found it solid enough. Figuring that sitting down could hardly be counted as interfering, she propped her hip on the desk opposite Sha're's picture. For several seconds the only sound was the scratching of Daniel pen against his notebook and the occasional shuffling of papers.

"You know," she finally said with a wry smile. "I probably wouldn't be here now if I hadn't stayed behind. You probably would, while the rest of us had been blown into oblivion." Unexpected tears welled up. "I can't help but think what I would have felt if you had been the one to jump through that window and get radiation poisoning. Our roles were so close to being switched. But then, I would never have gone through this experience, as frustrating as it has been to just stand by and watch you guys. All I can say is that I am so glad this didn't happen to you. And—" This was one of the few times Sam wished she had remained in her noncorporeal form. At least then she would be unable to cry. Despite her fervent desire to not cry, drops continuously slid down her cheeks.

She was saved from finishinf because Daniel suddenly said, "Why did you do it?" Her heart skipped a beat until she realized that he was speaking to the air, rather than being aware of her being there. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Dammit. Sam, why did you have to break so many rules? Part of me wishes you hadn't tried to stop Anubis. Skaara told us." He laughed hollowly. "It's my fault you're even in this situation."

"There's no point in blaming yourself. I would have tried to stop the experiment regardless of whether you told me to convice Jonas to stop or not," said Sam. She knew that he couldn't hear her, but she was more comforted in pretending she had a conversation going with one of her friends.

"I suppose it'd be better if I was in your situation. I was so close. It could have been me." Unconsciously, he began organizing random papers on his desk.

She thought it was rather ironic how he was alomost repeating exactly what she had been trying to tell him. She hoped the others, especially the colonel, didn't blame themselves as much as Daniel seemed to. Survivor's guilt was something that needed to be learned in this line of work. She just wished that she didn't have to be in Daniel's lesson.

"I don't see why you have to blame yourself," she replied. "It's not like you forced me to watch the experiment with Jonas or pushed me through the window to stop the bomb. Why can't you see that?"

"There was so much I wish I could have said," Daniel continued. "When you were on...on your deathbed. I tried to but I wimped out. I was too late for Sha're and now I was too late for you."

Sam blinked. What was he talking about? He looked up at ceiling as if it had the rest of what he was trying to say written on it.

"I loved Sha're. She was my wife after all. Why can't I say this? It's like you're right here and I'm rambling on like an idiot. I cared about you. Still do if you're somehow alive somewhere. Either way, it's a lot more than the military would like. But you always liked Jack. Teal'c told me about the za'tarc incident when I asked."

Sam wasn't listening; she was already standing in the hall outside of Daniel's office door. She had never known. Daniel had never given any indication. He just thought she was head-over-heels in-love with her commanding officer. Her emotions were so screwed at the moment she had no idea who she loved as more than a friend. This wasn't really a subject she was willing to dwell on, so she continued to make her rounds.

Her next stop was Jonas. He was sitting in her office watching The Weather Channel. She didn't understand how he could sit there for hours on end, constantly watching it. It was extremely boring to her, but then, most of the full-time military people probably didn't understand how she and Daniel could stand to watch The History Channel or National Geographic Channel without dying of boredom after twenty minutes.

Unsure of how to start, Sam said hesitantly, "Just so you know, I'm not mad that you replaced me. I'm more angry at Colonel O'Neill for being so quick to judge you after my...death. I personally don't think you did such a bad job on SG-1. It could have been a lot worse.

"Just after my ascension, I could see how guilty you felt about letting be save your people and then take the fallout for your experiment going wrong. At least you tried to do the right thing in the end. The colonel just couldn't see that," she said softly. "All I can do is apologize for everyone clinging to my memory and making you feel like an outsider. Especially when I don't dislike you _now,_ and never really did"

For a second, he glanced over at the spot she was standing before becoming engrossed in his show again.

Sam couldn't really think of anymore she desperately needed to say to Jonas, so she went to say good bye to General Hammond.

He, like the others, was in his office. She casually leaned against the door and waited for a technitian to finish making his report.

"Hi, Gen—Uncle George." She smiled slightly at her old name for her father's friend. "I am always going to be grateful for you being there for me when Mom died. Dad kinda made me feel a little at fault for it. You helped me see that it was just a freak accident. You were more of a father to me than my own dad. That's something I can't repay you for." She was crying again. She supposed she was so emotional because these were probably going to be her final farewells to everyone.

For fear of breaking down entirely, she left the SGC and Earth to speak with the last person she needed to: Jacob.

It took longer than she expected to find the Tok'ra homeworld. They had apparently recently changed. Luckily, with the Ancients' vast abilities, it was easy—for the most part—to locate it. She found her father just exiting a High Council meeting. About what, she didn't care. Stepping into pace with him, she said, "I wish I knew exactly what to say to you. I just 'spoke' with General Hammond and I thanked him for stepping in and being a father when you—" She shook her head; she didn't want the last things she said to her father to be cruel and accusing, even if he couldn't hear her. "You weren't the best dad. Even you admit that. But you did teach me not to be naïve, you had me grow up faster than most adolescents. You've been there for me and Mark the past three years. Selmak's been good for you. She's softened your rough edges."

Without warning, Oma appeared on Jacob's other side.

"You farewell must be quick. The Others are awaiting your presence."

It occured to Sam that she couldn't sense Oma's presence. As if reading her mind, the Ancient said, "Your abilities as an ascended being are slowly being taken away by the Others. You are to be rejoining the descended."

"Do you know the rest of my punishment?" asked Sam doubtfully.

Oma frowned reprovingly. "I do not. Even so, it is not my place to tell you. Finish speaking with your father. After that, we must leave."

"Yes, ma'am." Sam found it rather awkward to finish her good bye in front of Oma. Still, she managed not to be too flustered, and she and Oma left for the Ancients' corner of the galaxy. _"Is my punishment too harsh?"_ she asked before remembering that Oma didn't seem to know.

"_It is my hope that my position holds enough influence that you will not be reprimanded too severely,"_ Oma replied.

"_Thanks for defending me,"_ said Sam. _"But I couldn't just stand by while my friends were about to die. Not that my 'sacrifice' did any good for the Abydonians._

"_What I don't understand is, if Anubis is half-ascended, why wasn't I—another ascended—allowed to clean up his mess. After all, that is the Others' policy, isn't it?"_

"_He was exiled from our people long ago,"_ said Oma. _"We no longer consider him one of us."_

They continued on in silence. There wasn't too much farther to go so any other conversation would have quickly been ended.

The Others were awaiting their arrival.

As she and Oma approached, Sam glowed defiantly brighter but her luminescence began to fade slightly as she was told what the exact punishment was to be.

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**Just a quick A/N: the italicized writing represents "Ancient" dialogue since I'm pretty sure they don't speak vocally. The italics just mean they're communicating.**


	6. Fallen Pt 1

**First off, notice the name change. I was bored so I decided to change it for my own sad amusement. Second, I'm sorry for taking forever, so here's a longer chapter. Thirdly, my muse is still being a butthead and not coming back so please don't be mean.**

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The first thing she became aware of was soft animal-hide covering her already hot body. She sat up with a gasp, clutching the skin to her bare torso. From what she could see, she was lying in a tent. It was dark outside.

Something shuffled near by. Out of some instict, she jumped to a crouch and found that she was close to the ground. She clenched her fists, being unable to find something hard within reach, and waited.

"You are awake," said a soft, feminine voice. "That is good. I will find you something to eat. You must be famished."

She relaxed, loosening each muscle slowly as if stiff. Her stomach growled in response to the woman's words.

"I apologize for not being able to give you light, but a fire would likely burn my tent down." The woman found her hands and guided them to a warm, wooden bowl. "I fixed this at the evening meal, so it is still quite fresh."

She didn't touch the food. Instead, she said, "Where am I? What happened?"

"That," was the reply, "is something we hoped you could tell us. As for where you are, you are among the nomadic tribe, the Mengham."

She sampled what was in the bowl. Soup, it tasted like. "So, how did I get here?"

"None of us here are aware of specific details. According to Shamda, you appeared in a brilliant flash of light wearing no clothes and with no memory whatsoever. My father, the tribe elder and leader, has asked my husband and me to take you in and answer any questions you may have."

"Then I'm not from here," she said. "I don't remember meeting Shamda or anyone else. How long have I been here?"

"Shamda, my husband, and the two they were with brought you back at sun high. You have been asleep since you came in here. I would guess that it is close to moon high."

She crossed her legs and, deciding the food was good, began to hungrily gulp it down.

It was soon gone and, despite now feeling full, there was a sense of disorientation and loss. Unlike her outward appearance, she was on the verge of panic. She had no idea who she was or anything about herself. The woman seemed to know more about her than she did. Taking a couple of deep breaths to calm herself, she said, "What have you decided about me? What have you decided to call me? And...what's your name?"

The woman was silent a moment before answering. "I do not understand your first question, but to answer your second: we are calling you Arrana, which is the feminine way to say 'naked one' in our old language. I am called Kreya."

"Arrana." The name sounded alright, though she wasn't entirely thrilled with the meaning. "Um...what does your father think he's going to do with me? Throw me out as soon as he thinks I'm ready or will I be able to stay here?"

"That," Kreya said, "is your choice. My father is not a barbarian; he is fair. My people—your people if you wish—will not mind if you choose to remain here. We would understand if you felt the need to move on and try to find yourself."

"Let me think about it."

"Of course."

They lapsed into a short silence, only broken by Arrana asking, "Is there anything I can borrow for clothes?"

Kreya laughed quietly. "I cannot see. You will have to wait until it is morning."

Still feeling lost, Arrana agreed, yawned, and turned over, instantly falling back to sleep.

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Sunlight streamed elegantly through an opening in the top of the tent and flashed in Arrana's eyes. She moaned in annoyance and tried to turn over only to find she couldn't escape. Sighing in resignation, she sat up, remembering in time to keep herself covered.

A pretty, smiling woman was sitting near by. "It is still early, but Dermat, my husband, has left with a small party to hunt. I have some leftover bread if you are hungry."

Arrana recognized Kreya's voice. "Please," she said.

Holding her stomach, Kreya passed Arrana a small wooden plate of bread over. It was then Arrana noticed Kreya's rounded belly. Not knowing what to say, she murmured her thanks and savored one slice, not wanting to look like a pig in front of her host.

"Could your husband or someone else show me around?" she asked when she finished.

Kreya laughed. "I am with child, not an invalid! A walk will do me and the baby some good." Arrana blushed. "Are you ready now?"

"Yeah. Sure." Arrana helped Kreya stand and they exited the tent. "Wow," she whispered. "I've never--I don't remember anything like this!" The city had wide dirt paths and medium height buildings that loomed over the two women. People in the tribe bustled about. A few stopped to wave at Kreya before scurrying on. Nothing connected them to the outside world except a staircase and the open sky.

Arrana closed her eyes and relished the sun's warmth on her skin. She inhaled deeply, savoring the comforting scents. Kreya clucked in amusement and touched Arrana's arm.

Kreya commented, "I see you are not as panicked about...your situation as you could be." They walked down a road, Kreya directing the route.

"It's..." Arrana didn't know how to tell her new friend how she really felt. She wondered if she had this much trouble with talking about her feeling when she still had her memories. "I've been in better situations, I mean, I had to've been. I'm guess I'm just...afraid that I won't like the person that I was. Yeah, maybe a name would be nice, but I want to stay here. I want to stay with something familiar and, right now, it's this place and these people. If I was a horrible person, I don't want to know. I'd rather stay Arrana if it meant I wouldn't be that person."

"You are seeing the bad. You may have been one of the sweetest people in your village. I see you and I don't think of you as something evil, such as the Goa'uld." Kreya shuddered.

The word "Goa'uld" stirred something in Arrana's gut but as soon as she tried to grasp the feeling, it trickled away. "What is a Goa'uld?" She said the unfamiliar word slowly, yet it slide from her tongue with surprising ease. She wondered if she ever had dealings with them.

"They are a race that come from the heavens and pose as gods. My ancestors, though, knew that our real gods would never behave with such cruelty. Their voices echo with an alien harshness and when they become angered, their eyes flash an unnatural golden color. They wield a potent device on their hand that has they ability to throw an enemy back or, if close enough, paralyze a poor victim with a stone centered on their palm with the device. From stories told, the only power they seemed to conduct was through their warriors, called Jaffa." All of this information was new to Arrana, but it twinged something in her stomach that she couldn't pinpoint.

"And these Goa'uld," said Arrana, "why aren't they still here?"

Kreya's brow furrowed. "The exact truth isn't known, but all of the stories agree that our ancestors defeated the one inhabiting this planet. None have come back since. Here's where we have set up the market. Soon, a few more tribes will arrive to begin trading." She motioned to several open-sided tents lined up and spaced several feet apart. The tents were all animal hide and excellently sewn together. Tribesmen carried multiple items into them while the women unpacked them and set the contents up.

"Is there any chance we can, or at least I can, go explore the outside? Are there any woods?" The energy she felt from the night before pulsed through her veins once more, causing her to become restless. The need to wander was aroused.

"Of course, but do you still want to look around? There are woods outside. If you wanted, I would be willing to walk a ways with you, but my ankles are beginning to hurt."

"So the exit is..."

"I am correct in assuming you saw the stairs outside my tent?" Arrana nodded. "Follow them and explore to your heart's content. I wish I could go." She grunted and placed a hand over her stomach. "But the baby's gotten suddenly restless. Is it alright if you help me back?" Her voice had gotten progressively quieter.

Arrana gently grabbed her arm and helped her shuffle back to her tent. Kreya collapsed happily onto the bed. "From what you have said, do you choose to remain with us?"

Arrana paused before heading back out. "Yeah. This is, after all, the only home I can remember. I have nowhere else I need to go."

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Several days passed by. During that time, Arrana contented herself by searching through the woods and following numerous trails until she knew the layout like the palm of her hand.

One afternoon, Arrana and Kreya were sitting and talking when Kreya gasped in pain. She quickly told Arrana that the baby must be coming and that Arrana had to go find a nursemaid.

Arrana obediently hurried and was forced to wait outside while the nurse helped Kreya. Dermat came a soon as he heard and was granted access. Her cries echoed throughout that section of the city. Finally, after many hours of waiting, Arrana heard the shrieking of a baby. She was allowed to enter a few minutes later. Kreya was lying on the bed, looking very tired and sweaty. She was leaning against Dermat who was massaging Kreya's shoulders and staring proudly at the baby she held in her arms.

"It is a boy," Kreya anounced.

"Congratulations," Arrana murmured.

"I am calling him Tredan, after Dermat's father." The baby, whose cries had long-since subsided, sighed in his sleep. "The maid wants me to move into her tent so she can supervise us. Dermat will be coming with me. You may stay here if you wish."

Arrana blinked in surprise. "Th-thank you," she said.

After a few more days became a week, Arrana, who thought her restlessness was finally gone, felt herself needing to wander. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, its light reflecting off the clouds and streaking the sky with marvelous hues of red, pink, purple, and yellow.

She followed different trails for a few hours before coming across a stream. The grass on its back was trampled down from where animals had stopped down and gotten a drink. She knelt in the same spot and dipped her hands in the gently running water. It was cool against her hands and felt crisp in her mouth. She splashed her face and relished its chill on her sweaty face and neck.

She continued on. The trail curved and wove throughout the forest. At some points, she was forced to duck under low-hanging branches thanks to the bright animal that decided it must have wanted to ram its head on them.

Finally, it began to end and, judging by the pattern of trees, opened up into a clearing. She strode forward but slowed down when she heard voices.

"We need to sweep the area, sir," a female voice was saying.

Arrana hesitated uncertainly. These people had to be from one of the tribes that was supposed to trade. Still, the way the woman had spoken made her hesitant to think that they were truly from another tribe. Another thought fluttered through her mind: What if they were Goa'uld? She quickly dismissed the notion. Kreya told her that the Goa'uld had inhuman voices. The woman sounded quite normal except the way she spoke. She walked slowly forward.

"Maintain a secure perimeter, fifty meters radius from the gate," replied a man. Arrana felt her doubts begin to surface again. She forced herself to move forward.

"Yes, sir," the woman replied.

The people came into veiw, and she came into sight of a second man. "Sir..." he said. She observed, as the other two whirled to face her, that they were all dressed in a green uniforn with a black vest. From what she could see, the vests contained various instruments she didn't know the name of. They each raised a large metallic weapon at her.

"Wait," she said. "I don't mean you any harm."

The man who first spoke lowered his gun with wide eyes. Arrana thought he looked like he was seeing something unreal that he had dismissed as something false. The words, "He looked like he'd seen a ghost," popped into her mind, though she had no idea why. His face had paled, as hid those of his companions. They, too, lowered their weapons and gazed at her in unconcealed amazement.

"What?" she asked in confusion. She briefly wondered, subconsiously, if these people had known her, but the thought never truly formed.

"You don't recognize us, Major?" asked the first male speaker.

"Major?" she echoed, the word meaning nothing to her.

"Can you please come with me?" he asked.

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?" she demanded.

"We're just going to a near by village. You may or may not have been there. It's a couple miles west of our position."

"I came from there."

"Lieutenant." He nodded to the woman. She put her hand to her forehead and hurried off, probably to comply with her earlier orders. The second man copied her actions. "I don't mean you any harm either," he said to Arrana. "I just want you to come back to the village with me so I can confirm who you are."

"You know me?" she asked, surprised.

"I'm pretty sure. After all my people have been through, you could just be an extremely close look-a-like."

Arrana, in a split second decision, decided that, since they were just going to the village, she could go with him.

They walked in silence, for which she was very grateful. The village soon came into veiw, since they were going by the main road, and they descended the stairs. Arrana saw Shamda speaking with another man, wearing the same uniform as her "escort" except his hair was steel-grey. His voice was slightly grating but soothing to her all the same. A tall, bald, black man with a strange symbol on his forehead stood near by, his hands behind his back. Two others, both with brownish/blondish hair and blue eyes were walking around and speaking to tribesmen and women.

"Colonel," said her "escort", interrupting an apparent argument between Shamda and the grey-haired man. "My team found something you might wanna see." All four strangers turned and gaped at her in open awe and amazement. Arrana was becoming uncomfortable with all of these strangers staring at her in recognition--to say the least--as well as holding the "I'm seeing a ghost" expression on their faces.

The four people, oblivious to the curious stares they were receiving from the villagers, approached her.

"Carter?" said the grey-haired man, his voice breaking with heavy emotion.

"Arrana," Shamda corrected smugly.

"Huh? Arrana?"

"It is what we call her," Khorib, one of the men who initially found her, added.

"It means 'naked one'," Shamda said.

_Thanks, Shamda,_ she thought sarcastically. _Just what I want people to know._

"It is how we found her in the forest two moons ago," Khorib explained.

"She doesn't seem to remember who she is," her escort said.

It was beginning to irk her how they kept speaking as if she wasn't really there.

One of the blue-eyed men stepped forward. He had two glass circles in front of his eyes. "Hey, Sam." Arrana bit back a comment about her supposedly being named "Carter" instead, but decided that this man was being sincere and didn't deserve a biting comment. "Don't you remember me? I'm Daniel." He reached out to touch her shoulder but she shied away from his hand. She didn't miss the genuinely hurt expression on his face.

"Do you not recognize us, Major Carter?" the black man asked, putting his hands down to his sides.

Sudden emotion overwhelmed her. "I'm sorry," she said and rushed off to her tent.

Ignoring the grey-haired man's "Not even me?", she threw herself down on the bed. It felt like two halves of her were at a violent war with each other.

One said that she should stay here. The tribes people were her people now. The newcomers were just strangers. She didn't know them despite their claims of knowing her. They couldn't know her. She was her own person now. They may have known the old her, but she was different now. Nothng they could say of do would be able to change that. That and they could very well be lying about really knowing her. Except she really couldn't figure out what they would gain from lying to her.

On the other hand, it was an opportunity to find out who she really was. These people seemed like they had been her close friends. Who better to help her remember? If that were even possible; she had yet to regain any memories.

The grey-haired man entered and interrupted her musings. She was both amused and annoyed that he was so determined to talk to her.

"Can you please go away?" she asked in irritation. Her bad mood increased when he ignored her and sat down across from her.

"Okay, look, I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill and by some freaky coincidence, you are Major Samantha Carter."

"How can you prove that?" she asked. He looked at her blankly. In a wide, sweeping gesture, she waved her arm around. He ducked unnecissarily. "I don't know. I _do_ know this tent, these people, this village. They're real to me. What you're trying to tell me isn't. I've tried to make it real. I've tried to remember, but as soon as I reach for it, it fades and there's nothing for me to grasp. Nothing for me to hang on to."

"You were the second-in-command of my team, SG-1. You're our friend. Then, about a year ago, you died."

Arrana—Sam?—snorted. "I'm dead?" she said in amusement bordering on mockingly.

"Well, not died per se. Just ascended to a higher plane of existence instead of dying. Last any of us saw you, you were trying to kick Anubis's—"

"Anubis?" she asked, the name sounding vaguely familiar.

"Yeah. A kind of over-the-top, cliché bad guy. Ugly black cloak, really oily skin, kind of spooky. Anyway, you've, since then, obviously retaken human form...somehow. I—" he paused and an understanding look appeared on his face. "I, uh, I can imagine how this might sound a little strange."

"A little? Okay then, how—why—am I here?"

He grimaced. "How or why are any of us here? I don't know, but you gotta believe me. I know you're Major Sam Carter. Think about it like this: out of all the planets in the galaxy, why this one if not for us to find you?" He pointed at her.

She lit a candle in a show of boredom. Skeptically, she said, "So, you're telling me that a higher power put me here?"

"Honestly, I don't know. That's not my department." He got up and left, seeming put out.

She wondered how long it would be until the next person came in.

Not even a minute later and and man with glasses—what did he say his name was?—poked his head through the flap. "Hey, do you mind if I come in?" She blew out the candle and shrugged, gesturing to the recently vacated seat. "So..." he said awkwardly, accepting her invitation to sit.

Deciding to break the ice and make up for her walking away from his so rudely, she said, "Who did you say you were again?"

She noted with some amusement the relief that flickered behind his eyes. "Daniel Jackson. Daniel to my friends." He looked at her intently as he said this.

Now that aquaintances were over with, she decided to tell him to leave before she only hurt him further. "As I was telling Jarad—"

"Jack," he corrected.

"Uh, yeah. Like I told _Jack_—"

"Why are you so afraid to find out who you are?" he interrupted.

"I do...and I don't."

"I find it hard to understand the 'don't' part..."

"I've given this a lot of thought. Believe me. But I keep asking myself, 'What if I don't like who I was?' I'm just afraid that the person I was wasn't...that I was some sort of monster, I guess."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Arrana could see the wheels in his head turning. "A year ago we thought we had lost you. It was one of the worst experiences we—_I_—have ever been through. You would give your life for someone you din't even know. That's how we lost you in the first place."

"That's not too bad," she admitted.

"On our team, your were the soldier/scientist. Both sides were constantly conflicting with each other. I know that you wanted to argue whenever you were ordered to do something you knew was wrong but rules stopped you from doing it."

"But I can be correct in assuming that people were hurt because I didn't speak up?" she asked.

"No," he said fiercely. "Our leaders just wouldn't listen and they had the final say. You really made an impression on them when you sacrificed yourself. They probably learned from it. There was a really big lesson to learn from it in the long run. I can't just sit here and tell you what good you've done. Come back and we can show you."

She shook her head and rested it in her hands. Sighing, she looked up again, biting her lip. "Can I think about it?"

Daniel smiled sadly and nodded. "Sure. I'll see you later."

He left. The tent suddenly seemed to take on a melancholy atmosphere. Partly, she knew, because of her choice. Daniel's words swayed her decision. There was only one thing she could really do.

With another sigh, she shuffled out of the tent in time to hear the black man say, "What of Major Carter?"

"She's going home," Sam said.

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**So was is good despite my evil muse?**

**The next chapters shouldn't be so long in coming, but if my muse decides to keep up her behavior, don't expect the chapters to be as good as they could be. I _am_ trying!**

**R&R**


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